Сочинения ЕГЭ английский язык

40.1 Imagine that you are doing a project on what vehicles are used to get to work You have collected some on the subject-the results of the opinion polls (see the graph below). Comment on the data in the table and giv your personal opinion on the subject

📅 28.09.2021
Автор: Ekspert

Let me show you this table. It gives information about how different vehicles used to get to work are.

As can be seen from the percentage bar chart, the largest percentage of a means for getting to work is a motor vehicle. It is connected with such a reason that automobiles are extremely spread among adults. However, bicycles are not so popular and fast and people using them during way to work consist only 2%.

From the statistics it can be inferred that there is not a big difference between the frequency of usage such approaches to get to work corresponding to the middle of the table. Such modes as walk and going by car represent the average value and differ from one another only by 1%.

I want to say that there is a problem that can arise with getting to work or school. I suppose that, using cars, there is a big possibility to get not on time. There can be such problems as breaking down and traffic jams, which are really frequented in dig cities. To solve this problem I would suggest using cycles more and developing special equipped path for cyclists around the region.

All in all, I want to say that there is a variety of the ways of getting to work and everyone can find the most convenient for herself of himself.

Исходный текст
Motor vehicle 74%
Public transport 12%
Walk 6%
Car 7%
Cycling 2%
Write 200-250 words.
Use the following plan:
- make an opening statem ent on the subject of the project work;
- select and report 2–3 main features:
-make 1-2 comparisons where relevant;
- outline a problem that can arise with getting to work or school and suggest the way of solving it:
- draw a conclusion giving your personal opinion on the ways of getting to work
Э
Оценка эксперта
Проверено
11
11 из 14 Баллов по критериям ЕГЭ

К1– 2 балла

В работе раскрыты почти все аспекты, но есть неточности:

«Let me show you this table. It gives information about how different vehicles used to get to work are»
– в первом абзаце должна раскрываться проблема, по крайней мере должно даваться о ней небольшое представление. Здесь одно предложение, и суть проблемы не раскрывается.

«As can be seen from the percentage bar chart, the largest percentage of a means for getting to work is a motor vehicle»
– не указано само число, желательно его добавлять для конкретики.

Сравнения есть: «From the statistics it can be inferred that there is not a big difference between the frequency of usage such approaches to get to work corresponding to the middle of the table. Such modes as walk and going by car represent the average value and differ from one another only by 1%».

Решение достойное, раскрыто и вписано логично.

«All in all, I want to say that there is a variety of the ways of getting to work and everyone can find the most convenient for herself of himself»
– вывод неплохой, но здесь нужно выразить именно свое мнение по поводу проблемы, не просто перефразировать ее.

К2– 3 балла

Текст неплохо организован, разбит на абзацы. Средства связи активно используются, повествование последовательно.

К3 – 3 балла

Неправильно употребленное слово: usage – using

К4– 2 балла

Лишний артикль: of the ways

Неправильно написанное слово: special – specially

Неправильное число: path

Неправильный артикль: of himself

К5– 1 балл

Пропущена запятая: the statistics it can

Лишняя запятая: suppose that, using cars

Итого: 11 баллов