My project focuses on what extracurricular activities are popular among teenagers in Netland. I have found the results of a survey conducted among
Netland teenagers in the form of a pie chart. I am going to analyse the statistics and express my view on the topic.
According to the main features of the pie chart, it is visible that 23% of the surveyed opt for the response “Chess” while answering the question “What extracurricular activity do you prefer?”. Another 20% choose the option “Dancing”. The least common response is “Drawing” (8%).
It is important to note that the figure for the option “Sports” is higher than that for the option “Music”, at 34% and 15% respectively. It can be explained because most teenagers would like to be fit and healthy, but music cannot help them with this goal. Moreover, if a person wants to play a musical instrument, he needs to have a musical ear.
It is worth mentioning that one of the difficulties which can arise with extracurricular activities is that sometimes adults try to bring their unfulfilled dreams to life through their children. This problem can be solved by giving teenagers their own choice despite parents` desires. Furthermore, lists of hobby clubs in the city can help to choose the right place.
In conclusion, I think extracurricular activities play an important role in teenagers` lives as they help develop their strengths and broaden their horizons. In addition, activities help teenagers get new skills.
Comment on the survey data and give your opinion on the subject of the project.
What extracurricular activity do you prefer?
The survey question:
Choose one option
[На диаграмме представлены следующие данные:]
Sports — 34%
Chess — 23%
Dancing — 20%
Music — 15%
Drawing — 8%
Use the following plan:
— make an opening statement on the subject of the project;
— select and report 2–3 facts;
— make 1–2 comparisons where relevant and give your comments;
— outline a problem that can arise with extracurricular activities and suggest a way of solving it;
— conclude by giving and explaining your opinion on the importance of extracurricular activities for teenagers.
В задании страна называется Neland — название из задания переписывайте точно.
Все пять пунктов плана раскрыты: вступление с темой проекта и указанием на источник данных (опрос, круговая диаграмма); три факта (Chess 23%, Dancing 20%, Drawing 8%); сравнение Sports и Music с объяснением; проблема (взрослые реализуют через детей несбывшиеся мечты) и два способа её решения; заключение с обоснованным мнением о роли внеклассных занятий. Нейтральный стиль выдержан, сокращённых форм нет. Объём 245 слов — в пределах нормы.
Калька с русского «видно, что». Правильно: it can be seen that… или the pie chart shows that…
of the surveyed
Лучше: of the respondents или of those surveyed.
activities help teenagers get new skills
В нейтральном стиле точнее acquire/gain new skills; к тому же help повторяется в двух соседних предложениях. Лучше: In addition, such activities enable teenagers to acquire new skills.
Словарный запас богатый и точный (opt for, respectively, unfulfilled dreams, broaden their horizons). Одна лексическая ошибка — в пределах высшего балла.
Из-за порядка слов получается, что «в форме круговой диаграммы» — это подростки. Лучше: I have found a pie chart showing the results of a survey conducted among Neland teenagers.
It can be explained because
Глагол explain не присоединяет придаточное через because. Правильно: This can be explained by the fact that most teenagers would like to be fit and healthy.
he needs to have a musical ear
С обобщённым a person лучше he or she или they. Балл не снижается.
Одна грамматическая ошибка, сложные конструкции (that for the option…, respectively, can be solved by giving…) построены верно.
Если цитата заканчивается вопросительным знаком, точка после закрывающей кавычки не ставится: …do you prefer?
Одна пунктуационная ошибка — в пределах высшего балла. Орфография без ошибок.