I am doing a project on young Zellanders and museums. While doing it, I have found some data on the subject which can be seen in the table below.
Analysing the given data, the most popular options on the question
"What can motivate you to visit a museum?" were Interactive exhibits (36%) and Discussion club (22%), meanwhile the least popular option was Selfie spots within the museum (11%)
Moreover, it can be seen that the most and the least popular options (36% and 11%) differ from each other with 25%. This difference can be explained because not that many museums have special selfie spots and it is overall more interesting to interact with exhibits rather than take a selfie.
Regrettably, a problem can arise with teenagers not wanting to visit a museum at all. This problem can be best solved with popular influencers popularising museums and talking about endless advantages of going there, such as expanding your knowledge on numerous topics or becoming more attentive to small details on paintings.
Thus, I believe that visiting museums is always important to people of all ages but teenagers specially. It can even help them with doing school projects by showing them an amazing wand of ants and sculptures. Haring them seen in real life may develop something hidden within them and they can even choose to connect their future with museums.
Фраза непонятна по смыслу (вероятно, "an amazing world of art").
Все 5 аспектов раскрыты, объём 223 слова (в норме). Минус - непонятный фрагмент в заключении ("an amazing wand of ants").
Неверный предлог: "differ ... by 25%".
teenagers specially
Нужно "especially", а не "specially".
popular influencers popularising
Тавтология "popular/popularising"; лучше "influencers promoting".
"differ ... with 25%" -> "by 25%"; "specially" -> "especially". Тавтология "popular/popularising" - как замечание.
Причастный оборот повисает: подлежащее "options" не анализирует данные.
them seen in real life may develop something hidden
Оборот построен неверно: "Seeing them in real life may reveal...".
Два повисших причастных оборота: "Analysing the given data, the options were..."; "Having them seen ... may develop...".
Опечатка: "Zetlanders".
Haring
Опечатка: "Having".
within the museum (11%)
Пропущена точка в конце предложения.
Опечатки "Zellanders" -> Zetlanders, "Haring" -> Having; пропущена точка в конце второго абзаца.