Ñ÷àñòëèâîãî íîâîãî ãîäà îò êðèòèêè24.ðó êðèòèêà24.ðó
Âåðíûé ïîìîùíèê!

ÐÅÃÈÑÒÐÀÖÈß
  âõîä

Âõîä ÷åðåç VK
çàáûëè ïàðîëü?

Ïðîâåðêà ñî÷èíåíèé
Çàêàçàòü ñî÷èíåíèå




ÏÎÈÑÊ:

Ó íàñ áîëåå 100 000 ìàòåðèàëîâ âîñïîëüçóéòåñü ïîèñêîì! Âàì ïîâåç¸ò!

Ecotourism is beneficial for local people and environment (Ñî÷èíåíèÿ ÅÃÝ àíãëèéñêèé ÿçûê)

8 èç 14
Îöåíêà ýêñïåðòà âíèçó

There is a wide-spread opinion that there are many advantages in ecotourism for local people and environment. However, some people do not think so.

In my opinion, ecotourism is helpful for environment and people who live there. First of all, eco-tourists do not cause damage to the environment. On the contrary, they make an effort to preserve nature and biodiversity, save wildlife. Secondly, ecotourism brings big income to the area. Eco-tourists pay for being on the territory, this financial support can improve standards of living of local people.

Nevertheless, some people believe that environment and local people do not benefit from ecotourism. Eco-tourists are usually not professional biologists, they are not aware of ecological problems deeply.

ecause of their unawareness, they can interfere in ecosystems, disturb animals and cause damage to the nature.

However, I cannot agree with the above opinion.

There is not enough evidence to prove that eco-tourists damage something. Instructors always instruct people on how to behave properly in the forest or in the mountains. So, eco-tourists cannot ruin flora and fauna.

In conclusion, I would like to say that ecotourism is not an adverse idea. Clearly, this kind of tourism brings benefits both for local people and environment.

Îáíîâëåíî:
Îïóáëèêîâàë(à):
Îöåíêà ýêñïåðòà:

Ê1–2 áàëëà

Âñåãî â ýññå ó÷åíèêà 202 ñëîâà, âñå âïèñûâàåòñÿ â íåîáõîäèìîå êîëè÷åñòâà, îäíàêî, ëó÷øå äîáàâëÿòü 10-20 ñëîâ, íà âñÿêèé ñëó÷àé. Âåäü åñëè íå áóäåò äîñòàòî÷íî íåñêîëüêèõ ñëîâ, òî ðàáîòà ïðîâåðÿòüñÿ íå áóäåò.

Âî ââåäåíèè óêàçàíà ïðîáëåìà, íåñêîëüêî ïåðèôðàçèðîâàíà, åñòü äâå òî÷êè çðåíèÿ. Ïðàâäà, ïðîòèâîïîëîæíàÿ ðàñêðûòà äîâîëüíî ñëàáî, ïðîñòî íàïèñàíî, ÷òî

«…some people do not think so»,
ìîæíî áûëî êðàòêî ðàñêðûòü ýòîò àñïåêò. Äàëåå âûðàæåíà ñâîÿ òî÷êà çðåíèÿ, ïðèâåäåíû äâà àðãóìåíòà. Ïåðâûé äîâîëüíî ñèëüíûé, âòîðîé áîëåå àáñòðàêòíûé è íå ñîâñåì ñâÿçàí ñ ïîëüçîé äëÿ ìåñòíûõ ëþäåé è îêðóæàþùåé ñðåäû.

Ïðîòèâîïîëîæíàÿ òî÷êà çðåíèÿ äàåò ïîëíûé, êîíêðåòíûé îòâåò íà âîïðîñ, ïîäêðåïëÿåòñÿ ïðèìåðàìè.

Êîíòðàðãóìåíò ñëàáûé è áàçèðóåòñÿ íà îòâëå÷åííîì, ñîáñòâåííîì ïðåäñòàâëåíèè, ìíåíèè.  çàâåðøåíèè îáîçíà÷åíî çàÿâëåííîå âî âòîðîì àáçàöå ìíåíèå, íåïëîõî ïåðèôðàçèðîâàíî. Ñòèëèñòè÷åñêèõ îøèáîê íå íàáëþäàåòñÿ.

Ê2–2 áàëëà

Òåêñò ðàçäåëåí íà àáçàöû, ñòðóêòóðèðîâàí, îäíàêî, åñòü íåêîòîðûå «ëîãè÷åñêèå» îøèáêè: âî âòîðîì àáçàöå àâòîð ïèøåò, ÷òî ýêîòóðèçì «…brings big income to the area», êàêèì îáðàçîì?

«Eco-tourists pay for being on the territory, this financial support can improve standards of living of local people»–
áåçóñëîâíî, îäíàêî, ñîâåðøåííî íå ôàêò, ÷òî äåíüãè îò ýêîòóðèçìà îáÿçàòåëüíî èäóò íà óëó÷øåíèå îêðóæàþùåé ñðåäû è ðàçâèòèÿ ýòîãî æå òóðèçìà, à åñëè òàêèå ïðîåêòû è ñóùåñòâóþò, òî íàäî óêàçàòü íà ýòî, ìîæíî äàæå áåç ïðèâåäåíèÿ êîíêðåòíûõ ïðèìåðîâ, ïðîñòî óêàçàòü, ÷òî åñòü ïðîåêòû, âêëàäûâàþùèå äîõîäû îò ýêîòóðèçìà â ðàçâèòèå ãîðîäà è óëó÷øåíèÿ óñëîâèé îêðóæàþùåé ñðåäû.

 ïðîòèâîïîëîæíîé òî÷êå çðåíèÿ òàêæå ãîñïîäñòâóåò ìíåíèå ñàìîãî àâòîðà, ïðè÷åì, ñóäÿ ïî îòñóòñòâèþ êîíêðåòíûõ ïðèìåðîâ, áûòîâîå.

«Eco-tourists are usually not professional biologists, they are not aware of ecological problems deeply»
–÷òî ñëóæèò îñíîâàíèåì ê òàêîìó àñïåêòó? Çäåñü íóæíî ïðèâåñòè ïðèìåðû, êîòîðûå ïîêàçûâàþò, ÷òî òàêîå ìíåíèå èìååò ìåñòî áûòü, íàïðèìåð, ñêàçàòü ÷òî ìíîãèå ãîðîäà îòìå÷àþò óõóäøåíèÿ ïîñëå ïðèåçäà òàêèõ òóðèñòîâ. Ýòî ïðàâèëüíåå îôîðìèò ïðèâåäåííûé ôàêò.

 êîíòðàðãóìåíòàõ òîæå ìàëî îñíîâàíèé äëÿ òîãî, ÷òîáû ïîâåðèòü â «îñâåäîìëåííîñòü» ýêîòóðèñòîâ. Íóæíî óêàçàòü õîòÿ áû íåìíîãî íà òî, ÷òî åñòü ìíîæåñòâî îðãàíèçàöèé, ïåðñîíàë êîòîðûõ óäåëÿåò çíà÷èòåëüíîå âíèìàíèå èíñòðóêòèðîâàíèþ òóðèñòîâ, îáëàäàåò êàêèì-ëèáî ñïåöèàëüíûì îáðàçîâàíèåì.

Ê3–1 áàëëà

 ýññå åñòü íåêîòîðûå ëåêñè÷åñêèå îøèáêè: ëèøíåå óïîòðåáëåíèå âòîðîãî ïðåäëîãà «in»: «Instructors always instruct people on how to behave properly in the forest or in the mountains», â ïîñëåäíåì ïðåäëîæåíèè ñïîðíîå ñëîâî «clearly», îíî, â îñíîâíîì, èñïîëüçóåòñÿ êàê íàðå÷èå, à òàêæå ëèøíåå ñî÷åòàíèå «On the contrary», êîòîðîå èñïîëüçóåòñÿ â êîíòåêñòå «ñ äðóãîé ñòîðîíû», çäåñü íóæíî áûëî ñêîðåå èñïîëüçîâàòü «moreover». Òàêæå ïðîïóùåíà áóêâà â ñëîâå «Because», íî ñìûñë ýòî íå èñêàæàåò. Êðîìå òîãî, «ecotourists»ïèøåòñÿ ñëèòíî. Åñòü êîíñòðóêöèÿ ñ òàâòîëîãèåé: «Instructors always instruct…», ê ãëàãîëó (èëè ïîäëåæàùåìó) íóæíî ïîäîáðàòü ñèíîíèì, èíà÷å ïîïàäàåò ïîä êðèòåðèé îãðàíè÷åííîñòè ñëîâàðíîãî çàïàñà.

Ê4–1 áàëë

 òåêñòå åñòü ãðàììàòè÷åñêèå îøèáêè, â îñíîâíîì ñâÿçàíû ñ íåóïîòðåáëåíèå àðòèêëåé: íåò àðòèêëÿ «the»: «…people and environment»-ñ «environment»ïîâòîðÿåòñÿ 3 ðàçà, «… improve standards…».  «…damage to the nature» àðòèêëü íàîáîðîò íå íóæåí.

«Eco-tourists pay for being on the territory, this financial support can improve the standards of living of local people»:
çäåñü äâà íåçàâèñèìûõ ïîëîæåíèÿ, èõ íóæíî ðàçäåëèòü.  îñòàëüíîì ãðàììàòè÷åñêèõ îøèáîê íåò.

Ê5–2 áàëëà

Îðôîãðàôè÷åñêèõ îøèáîê íåò, åñòü îäíà ïóíêòóàöèîííàÿ: «ecause of their unawareness, they can interfere in ecosystems, disturb animals and cause damage to nature»–ïåðåä «and», ïîòîìó êàê íóæíî ðàçäåëèòü ïåðå÷èñëÿåìûå àñïåêòû, ïðî «ecause» íàïèñàíî âûøå.

Èòîãî: 8 áàëëîâ

Íàøè ýêñïåðòû ìîãóò ïðîâåðèòü Âàøå ñî÷èíåíèå ïî êðèòåðèÿì ÅÃÝ
ÎÒÏÐÀÂÈÒÜ ÍÀ ÏÐÎÂÅÐÊÓ

Ýêñïåðòû ñàéòà Êðèòèêà24.ðó
Ó÷èòåëÿ âåäóùèõ øêîë è äåéñòâóþùèå ýêñïåðòû Ìèíèñòåðñòâà ïðîñâåùåíèÿ Ðîññèéñêîé Ôåäåðàöèè.


Âíèìàíèå!
Åñëè Âû çàìåòèëè îøèáêó èëè îïå÷àòêó, âûäåëèòå òåêñò è íàæìèòå Ctrl+Enter.
Òåì ñàìûì îêàæåòå íåîöåíèìóþ ïîëüçó ïðîåêòó è äðóãèì ÷èòàòåëÿì.

Ñïàñèáî çà âíèìàíèå.

.


ÐÅÃÈÑÒÐÀÖÈß
  âõîä

Âõîä ÷åðåç VK
çàáûëè ïàðîëü?

Ïðîâåðêà ñî÷èíåíèé
Çàêàçàòü ñî÷èíåíèå