áîëåå 100 000 ìàòåðèàëîâ âîñïîëüçóéòåñü ïîèñêîì! Âàì ïîâåç¸ò!
Science is the first thing that should be financed in the modern world (Ñî÷èíåíèÿ ÅÃÝ àíãëèéñêèé ÿçûê) 9 èç 14 Îöåíêà ýêñïåðòà âíèçó The issue of distribution of money in present world have always aroused strong debates. Some people claim that most part of money should be invested in science, while others claim another point of view
In my opinion, money should be financed in science by the top. Firstly, if money is invested in science, some of new technologies will be created soon. Secondly, humanity will receive more knowledges about some questions, like where we came from, how university was created? Finally, science gives development to any kind of people’s life.
However, there is another point of view. Many people believe that a lot of money should be financed in some aspects of our everyday life, not connected with science, such as education. And somebody claim that youngsters are studying any subjects that are not science.
Despite my respect to above opinion, I can not agree with it. Firstly, new explorings give a really huge rise to any king of everyday life.
Secondly, people often don’t think of future world’s life, like in which world will we live in.
In conclusion, science is one of the most important things of our life and this aspect is usually being underestimated by everyone.
Îöåíêà ýêñïåðòà: Ê1– 1 áàëë
 ñî÷èíåíèè ðîâíî 200 ñëîâ, ýòî ïîäõîäèò ïîä îñíîâíîé êðèòåðèé, ìîäåì ïðîâåðÿòü äàëüøå.
 ïåðâîì àáçàöå îáîçíà÷åíà ïðîáëåìà, çàòðîíóòàÿ â òåìå ñî÷èíåíèÿ, îíà íåïëîõî ïåðèôðàçèðîâàíà, òàêæå óêàçàíû äâå òî÷êè çðåíèÿ, íî ïî÷åìó-òî âòîðàÿ êðàòêî íå ðàñêðûòà.
Âî âòîðîì àáçàöå ïðåäñòàâëåíà òî÷êà çðåíèÿ àâòîðà, îäíàêî, àðãóìåíòû â åå ïîëüçó ðàñêðûòû î÷åíü ñëàáî: â ïåðâîì àðãóìåíòå íå ðàñêðûâàåòñÿ êàêàÿ ïîëüçà áóäåò îò òåõíîëîãèé, êîòîðûå ïîòåíöèàëüíî áóäóò ñîçäàíû â áóäóùåì. Ïðîñòî óêàçûâàåòñÿ ñàì ôàêò òîãî, ÷òî îíè áóäóò ñîçäàíû â ñêîðîì âðåìåíè ïðè äîëæíîì ôèíàíñèðîâàíèè, íî íàì íóæíî îáîçíà÷èòü â ÷åì áóäåò ïîëüçà ñêîðåéøåãî ïîÿâëåíèÿ ýòèõ íàó÷íûõ îòêðûòèé.
«Secondly, humanity will receive more knowledges about some questions, like where we came from, how university was created?» –ïîñóòè, ýòî ÿâëÿåòñÿ ëîãè÷åñêèì ïðîäîëæåíèåì ïåðâîãî àðãóìåíòà, îäíàêî, àâòîð ðåøèë ðàçäåëèòü ýòè äâå òî÷êè çðåíèÿ, äåëàòü ýòîãî íå íóæíî áûëî, èíà÷å íàðóøàåòñÿ ëîãè÷åñêàÿ ñòîðîíà. Çäåñü íóæíî áûëî óêàçàòü ïî÷åìó âàæíû ýòè âîïðîñû, õîòÿ áû êðàòêî («…more knowledges about some questions, like where we came from, how university was created»)–ïî÷åìó íàì òàê ýòî âàæíî?
«Finally, science gives development to any kind of people’s life» –ýòîò àñïåêò îñòàåòñÿ ñîâåðøåííî íå ðàñêðûòà, ïîíÿòíî ÷òî æèçíü ëþäåé ìîæåò óëó÷øèòñÿ áëàãîäàðÿ ðàçâèòèþ íàóêè, íî êàêèì îáðàçîì è â êàêèõ ñôåðàõ, êðàòêî ýòî íóæíî áûëî ïîÿñíèòü.
Äàëåå èä¸ò ïðîòèâîïîëîæíîàÿ òî÷êà çðåíèÿ, ïåðâûé àðãóìåíò â íåé áîëåå-ìåíåå óäîâëåòâîðèòåëüíûé, âòîðîé æå îñòàåòñÿ áåç ïîÿñíåíèÿ è ÷¸òêîé ñâÿçè ñ íàøåé ïðîáëåìîé:
«And somebody claim that youngsters are studying any subjects that are not science» –äà, ìîæåò áûòü äåòè è íå âñåãäà èçó÷àþò íàó÷íûå äèñöèïëèíû, ÷òî âîîáùå-òî ìàëîâåðîÿòíî. Áûòü ìîæåò àâòîð èìåë ââèäó òî, ÷òî íå âñå äåòè óâëåêàþòñÿ èçó÷åíèåì, íàïðèìåð, åñòåñòâåííûõ íàóê, è ïîýòîìó íå ñòîèò ýòî ôèíàíñèðîâàòü, òîãäà ïî÷åìó â ïåðâîé ÷àñòè óòâåðæäàåò, ÷òî íóæíî ôèíàíñèðîâàòü îáðàçîâàíèå? Ìûñëü ýòà íå âûðàæåíà äîëæíûì îáðàçîì, îòñþäà âîïðîñû ê ëîãèêå.
«I can not agree with it. Firstly, new explorings give a really huge rise to any king of everyday life. Secondly, people often don’t think of future world’s life, like in which world will we live in»–â êîíòðàðãóìåíòàõ îïÿòü íå ðàñêðûòû ìûñëè, âòîðîé êîíòðàðãóìåíò âîîáùå áàçèðóåòñÿ íà îáûäåííûõ àñïåêòàõ, è ñîâåðøåííî íå ïîÿñíÿåòñÿ.
Çàêëþ÷åíèå êðàòêîå, íåðàçâåðíóòîå.
Ê2– 2 áàëëà
Òåêñò ñî÷èíåíèÿ îðãàíèçîâàí è ñòðóêòóðèðîâàíà, åãî àáçàöû ðàçáèòû ïî ñìûñëîâîé îêðàñêå.
Åñòü äîâîëüíî ìíîãî âîïðîñîâ ê ëîãè÷åñêîé ñîñòàâëÿþùåé:
«Firstly, if money is invested in science, some of new technologies will be created soon. Secondly, humanity will receive more knowledges about some questions, like where we came from, how university was created?» –êàê óæå áûëî íàïèñàíî âûøå, ëîãè÷íåå áûëî áû ñîåäèíèòü äâà ýòèõ àñïåêòîâ, ïîòîìó êàê îíè áîëåå-ìåíåå ðàçúÿñíÿþò ìûñëü, â äàííîì ñëó÷àå ó íàñ åñòü äâà «ðàçîðâàííûõ» àðãóìåíòà.
«Many people believe that a lot of money should be financed in some aspects of our everyday life, not connected with science, such as education. And somebody claim that youngsters are studying any subjects that are not science» –äëÿ ïåðâîãî àðãóìåíòà íåò ïîÿñíåíèÿ òîãî, ïî÷åìó ïîâñåäíåâíàÿ æèçíü äîëæíà ïðåâàëèðîâàòü íàóêè, âî âòîðîì àðãóìåíòå òîæå îòñóòñòâóåò êàêîé-ëèáî ïîÿñíåíèÿ, íå ïðèâîäèòñÿ äèñöèïëèíû, êîòîðûå òàêè ó÷àò äåòè è òàê äàëåå.
«Secondly, people often don’t think of future world’s life, like in which world will we live in» –ýòîò àðãóìåíò òàêæå îñòàåòñÿ áåç ïîÿñíåíèÿ, îí ñòîèò, êàê áóäòî áû, îñîáíÿêîì: íå ïîäêðåïëÿåòñÿ êàêèìè-ëèáî ðàçúÿñíåíèÿìè, íèêòî íàì íå ãîâîðèò â ÷åì ïðåèìóùåñòâà íàóêè, ïî÷åìó ëþäè äîëæíû óäåëÿòü åé áîëüøå âðåìåíè è äåíåã.
Ê3– 3 áàëëà
Ëåêñè÷åñêèé çàïàñ àâòîðà äîâîëüíî âûñîêèé, åñòü ñèíîíèìû, àíòîíèìû, ïåðèôðàçû.
Ëèøíåå ñëîâî: « a really huge»
Ê4– 1 áàëë
Íåò àðòèêëÿ: « in present world», «of distribution», «how university was», « for above opinion», «of money should».
Ëèøíèé ïðåäëîã: «some of new»; íåïðàâèëüíûé ïðåäëîã: «respect to above»,
Íåïðàâèëüíàÿ ôîðìà: "world have always»,
Íåïðàâèëüíîå ÷èñëî: «more knowledges about», «somebody claim that»,
Ê5– 2 áàëë
Îðôîãðàôè÷åñêèõ è ïóíêòóàöèîííûõ îøèáîê íå íàáëþäàåòñÿ â òåêñòå.
Èòîãî: 9 áàëëîâ
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