There is no doubt that teachers play an important role when it comes to educating students. Nevertheless, some people claim that your opportunity to succeed in education is mostly dependent on the teacher, while others hold an opposite view.
In my judgment, being after the wing of a good teacher has a big deal of positive aspects and may even help you succeed in some occupations. However, most children’s accomplishments and achievements are considered to be due to their own hard work and effort. To begin with, nowadays more and more students become educated without their teachers’ contribution by using a great variety of resources provided, such as informative online-courses, educational videos on different platforms, etc. In addition to this, according to the statistics, not every school has teachers with high qualifications needed for students and deep understanding of their subjects. In this case, self-effort is essential for succeeding in the education as you have almost no educator to give you a hand.
On the other hand, there is a group of individuals who choose to believe that you do not have any chance to achieve your educational goals without a teacher. They say that an educator is the one who leads you all the time and provides you with most information, which defines your future success.
To a certain extent, it is right. However, your teacher does not stay with you after finishing school. Later you will have to continue the education at the college or university, where, as it is widely known, students are not accompanied by their school teachers.
Taking into consideration all mentioned above, I still believe that the success of education does not mostly depend on the teacher. Hard work, desire and self-effort- that is what helps you achieve your goals related to the education.
К1 (решение коммуникативной задачи) – 1 балл
Существенно превышен допустимый объём сочинения – 300 слов вместо максимально возможных 275. Соответственно, проверке подлежит только текст до слов after finishing school включительно.
Вводный абзац сформулирован неточно, поскольку в первом его предложении заявляется важность роли учителя в образовательном процессе, а во втором та же мысль дублируется.
К2 (организация текста) – 2 балла
Имеется серьёзный изъян в структуре текста – во втором абзаце вместо представления аргументов в пользу своей позиции представлены аргументы в пользу противоположной позиции, а в третьем абзаце вместо перечисления аргументов в пользу противоположной позиции, напротив, дана позиция автора с кратким её обоснованием. Иными словами, второй и третий структурные элементы поменяны местами, из-за чего логическая схема сочинения становится некорректной.
К3 (лексика) – 2 балла
1) being after the wing of a good teacher – being under the wing of a good teacher [Использован неверный предлог во фразеологическом выражении];
2) a big deal of positive aspects – a good/great deal of positive aspects [Использовано неверное прилагательное в устойчивом выражении];
3) defines your future success – determines your future success [Лучше использовать глагол determine, поскольку он означает «предопределять», тогда как глагол define означает «давать определение»].
К4 (грамматика) – 3 балла
1) qualifications needed for students and deep understanding of their subjects – qualifications needed for students to have a deep understanding of their subjects [Исходная конструкция выглядит грамматически неправильной];
2) in the education – in education [Артикль не требуется].
К5 (орфография и пунктуация) – 2 балла
Существенных отклонений от орфографических и пунктуационных норм не выявлено.