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Technical devices do more harm than good (Ñî÷èíåíèÿ ÅÃÝ àíãëèéñêèé ÿçûê)

11 èç 14
Îöåíêà ýêñïåðòà âíèçó

Nowadays, many people suppose that gadgets are harmful in most cases. However, others stick to an opposite opinion.

From my point of view, technical devices are rather useful than harmful. Firstly, such devices as a computer and a smartphone help us to study and find the information which we need. Secondly, gadgets save our time. In other words, you just have to connect to the Internet and find what you want very fast. If you used a book, you would spend more time on looking something up. Finally, technical devices make people`s lives more interesting because you can play games, watch a big variety of films, follow your friends in social nets and share photos with them, for example.

However, not all people share my point of view.

They assume that technical devices do more harm than improve our lives. For example, people stop living in a real world, they get addicted. What is more, using technical devices too much can cause health problems such as bad eyesight.

Nevertheless, I cannot agree with this opinion. I believe that It is always necessary to use gadgets in moderation. You just should define a time limit when you can use them.

To sum up, I would like to say that technical devices are more essential and useful than harmful. By using them, we save our time, study or work, entertain ourselves.

Îáíîâëåíî:
Îïóáëèêîâàë(à):
Îöåíêà ýêñïåðòà:

Ê1 (ðåøåíèå êîììóíèêàòèâíîé çàäà÷è) – 2 áàëëà

Îáú¸ì ñî÷èíåíèÿ (229 ñëîâ) ñîîòâåòñòâóåò òðåáîâàíèÿì è ïðåêðàñíî óêëàäûâàåòñÿ â äîïóñòèìûå ãðàíèöû. Ñòèëåâûå íîðìû ñîáëþäåíû. Ñîäåðæàíèå òåêñòà â öåëîì íàðåêàíèé íå âûçûâàåò, îäíàêî îáðàùàåò íà ñåáÿ âíèìàíèå íåêîòîðàÿ îäíîñòîðîííîñòü îïèñàíèÿ ïðîáëåìû – àâòîð ñîñðåäîòî÷èâàåòñÿ ëèøü íà òàêèõ âûñîêîòåõíîëîãè÷íûõ ãàäæåòàõ, êàê êîìïüþòåð è ñìàðòôîí, îñòàâëÿÿ çà ðàìêàìè ðàññìîòðåíèÿ áîëåå ïðèçåìë¸ííûå, íî íå ìåíåå ïîëåçíûå óñòðîéñòâà òèïà ìèêðîâîëíîâîé ïå÷è, ñòèðàëüíîé ìàøèíû, ïûëåñîñà è ò.ä. Ñëåäóÿ äàííîé ëîãèêå, àâòîð îòìå÷àåò â ïåðâîì àáçàöå, ÷òî ýêîíîìèÿ âðåìåíè, êîòîðóþ îáåñïå÷èâàþò òåõíè÷åñêèå ïðèáîðû, èñ÷åðïûâàåòñÿ áîëåå îïåðàòèâíûì ïîèñêîì èíôîðìàöèè. Ðàçâèâàÿ ìûñëü â ýòîì êëþ÷å, àâòîð äàëåå óïîìèíàåò òàêèå îïàñíîñòè òåõíè÷åñêèõ ñðåäñòâ, êàê âîçíèêíîâåíèå ó ÷åëîâåêà çàâèñèìîñòè îò íèõ è óõóäøåíèå çðåíèÿ, ïðåäëàãàÿ â êà÷åñòâå ïðîôèëàêòèêè óìåðåííîå èñïîëüçîâàíèå äàííûõ òåõíè÷åñêèõ ñðåäñòâ. Î÷åâèäíî, ÷òî àâòîð âíîâü îãðàíè÷èâàåòñÿ àíàëèçîì òîëüêî ñîâðåìåííûõ êîììóíèêàöèîííûõ ãàäæåòîâ. Äóìàåòñÿ, ÷òî áûëî áû ðàçóìíî ðàñøèðèòü ïåðå÷åíü ðàññìàòðèâàåìûõ óñòðîéñòâ è â ýòîé ñâÿçè äîáàâèòü â ñî÷èíåíèå äîïîëíèòåëüíûå ñâåäåíèÿ, íå çàìûêàÿñü â óçêîì ñïèñêå òåëåêîììóíèêàöèîííûõ äåâàéñîâ.

Ê2 (îðãàíèçàöèÿ òåêñòà) – 2 áàëëà

Òåêñò ïîñòðîåí ëîãè÷íî, ÷åìó ñïîñîáñòâóåò, â ÷àñòíîñòè, àêòèâíîå è óìåñòíîå èñïîëüçîâàíèå ñëîâ-ñâÿçîê. Ïðè ýòîì ìîæíî ðåêîìåíäîâàòü çàìåíèòü âûðàæåíèå for example â êîíöå âòîðîãî àáçàöà âûðàæåíèåì and so on, ÷òîáû èçáåæàòü ðàçãîâîðíîãî îòòåíêà âûñêàçûâàíèÿ, êîòîðûé ïðîèñòåêàåò èç íåñòàíäàðòíîé ïîçèöèè for example. Àáçàöíîå äåëåíèå ñîîòâåòñòâóåò ïðåäëîæåííîìó ïëàíó.

Ê3 (ëåêñèêà) – 2 áàëëà

1) in social netson social networks [ ðåàëüíîé ðå÷è èñïîëüçóåòñÿ èìåííî ýòî âûðàæåíèå, à íå êàëüêà ñ ðóññêîãî ñëîâîñî÷åòàíèÿ];

2) get addicted [Æåëàòåëüíî óêàçàòü, îò ÷åãî èìåííî ôîðìèðóåòñÿ çàâèñèìîñòü – addicted to the virtual reality/modern technologies è ò.ï.]

Ê4 (ãðàììàòèêà) – 3 áàëëà

in a real world – in the real world [Ïîñêîëüêó èìååòñÿ â âèäó ðåàëüíûé ìèð, à îí ïî îïðåäåëåíèþ ìîæåò áûòü òîëüêî îäèí, òðåáóåòñÿ îïðåäåë¸ííûé àðòèêëü].

Ê5 (îðôîãðàôèÿ è ïóíêòóàöèÿ) – 2 áàëëà

Ñåðü¸çíûå íåäî÷¸òû îòñóòñòâóþò. Îäíàêî ñëîâî It âî âòîðîì ïðåäëîæåíèè ÷åòâ¸ðòîãî àáçàöà äîëæíî áûòü íàïèñàíî ñ ìàëåíüêîé áóêâû.

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